Am I the only mom that’s obnoxiously exhausted all of the time?
When I was pregnant, many people gave me advice regarding what I should and shouldn’t do with the baby I would soon be holding in my arms. I read every book I could get my hands on and talked on the phone every day to all of my mom friends in hopes of gleaning some advice. My husband and I took an eight week childbirth class where we practiced labor positions and swaddled a doll whose arms and legs definitely did not flail around like a colicky baby.
I expected the sleep deprivation that is synchronous with the early days of motherhood. My eyes literally burned from lack of sleep. I remember hearing the paper delivery man drive by my house many early mornings as I sat up nursing one of the boys trying to get him back to sleep.
When the boys finally did sleep for extended periods, I would wake up in a panic hoping everything was okay. With tip-toed feet, I would walk in and touch their backs to feel the up and down rhythm of their breathing, ensuring all was well.
Who am I kidding? I still go in and put my hand on their backs every night before I go to bed.
Now that they’re six and three and both sleep at least 10-11 hours each night, I am still pretty dang tired all of the time. I do have a lot going on, as all moms do, but I eat healthy, exercise regularly, and sleep a decent amount (sort of). Nevertheless, I end up drinking coffee throughout the day and yawning quite a bit.
Since being a mom, I’ve worked full-time outside of the home, part-time only from home, and now work part-time out of the home and part-time from home. All are tiring and emotionally draining in different ways.
I’ve come to the conclusion that being a mom is exhausting not because of lack of actual sleep but because it takes an absurd amount of physical energy to love and nurture such special tiny people. I might as well put my beating heart outside of my body, attach legs to it and let it walk around. That’s how vulnerable my heart feels as I watch my children take on the world.
When it comes to my boys, I worry all of the time. I worry that they’re healthy, I worry that they’re happy, I worry when they look sad, I worry when they say weird things, I worry when they’re too loud, I worry when they’re quiet. I worry, worry, worry.
But I also smile an awful lot. I smile when they smile, I smile when they talk, I smile when they eat well, I smile when they are surprised, I smile when they try something new, I smile when they experience an accomplishment. And boy do I smile when they laugh with their whole bodies like only children can do.
Whether it’s a happy moment or a sad one, it affects my entire person. As someone told me one time, “Once you become a parent, you’ll always be a parent.” Such a simple statement but so true. I watch my mom worry about my sister and me in the same way. I watch my mother-in-law worry about my husband and his brother and sister in the same way.
The thing is, I don’t mind. The joy I feel from being a mother completely makes up for any exhaustion that comes along with it. My every act and thought is somehow related to my two little boys.
I think sometimes we moms worry that we’re not doing enough for our kids, that we’re not doing everything we should be doing. The truth is, though, if we’re being the best mom we can be, our children can feel it and they know it, even if their little minds can’t articulate a way to actually say it.
So kudos to you, moms. We’ve got the hardest job in the world. But isn’t it so worth it?
I am exhausted all the time. There are some nights when I put the kids to bed between 7:30 & 8 and I go to bed myself at that time because I am just done!
I wrote a similar post a while back, I hear ya! Every day is so tiring and I am burnt out 90 percent of the time. I wouldnt change it for the world though 🙂
It is definitely worth it! I haven’t slept well since before my oldest was born. It’s tough making yourself stop what you need to get done and just rest.
I remember being exhausted when my daughter was little. Fortunately, I’m an empty-nester now.
There are days when I am EXHAUSTED too. I have four children and take advantage of the time that they are in school to get things done around the house.
I’m always amazed at women who have more kids than me and still parent so gracefully.
This. All of this. I was working full-time out the home and still maintaining a full-time workload of freelance clients. I finally had to decide something had to give (and it wasn’t the full time out of the home job. Or my family.) Still. So much exhaustion.
I hear you. It can be very exhausting.
Yes, just being a Mama is extremely exhausting. Even if I accomplish nothing all day (HA! when was the last time that happened!), I would be accomplishing something great because I am a MOM! ^_^
YOU are doing awesome! I hope you’re able to get some good night time sleep. The hours before midnight are twice as good as those after… suggest some sleep studies. (Wow, accidental and awesome alliteration TWICE in a row!! I’m on a roll!!! ^_^)
Thank you! Affirmation is so nice sometimes.
I’m not a mom, so I really don’t understand where you’re coming from on the baby front. However, I have fostered so many litters of dogs and cats in my day, and I completely understand the waking up 20 times a night to check on them, feed them, make sure everything is ok. If I had a nickle for every time I woke up to the sound of a little pup crying form food or affection, I would be a millionaire.
I have chronic mom of teen fatigue. When will it be over?! As simple as it may sound, doing your best will be the thing you need to succeed with your family.
My youngest is 5 and I still feel like I haven’t caught up on sleep! There’s always something to do or something to worry about!
I am definitely in the constant tired phase of my life. I have a 2.5 year old and a 6 week old. If I am not running around busy my mind is busy worrying about them. So you are not alone!
The worry never goes away either, no matter how old they get. All the worry is totally worth it though.
That’s what I always hear, Liz! And I have no doubts it’s true.
I am always tired too, and I don’t even have kids yet. I can’t even imagine how I’ll be when I do have my own!!
I can remember being very tired when the kids were small. Now with just me and my hubby I have much more energy – but I also have a lot less to do. .
I stay exhausted too but I’m realllllly bad about getting up early and going to bed VERY late so I don’t get enough hours of sleep! Totally my fault, but I do agree that little ones keep you hopping! I just have the one kiddo, but my niece has 3, all under the age of 5. She stays EXHAUSTED!!
As I sit here and read this I feel your struggles. I am always tired and fatigued. I think the winter weather has a lot to do with it though.
I feel like I’m in your shoes. I’m tired all the time too, and my son is sleeping through the night 10+ hours. I don’t know how to pep up my step!
I’m always tired too. I tend to get enough sleep but by 8am i’m dragging
I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I seem to be exhausted constantly. I can never catch up.
It does feel nice knowing we’re all in the same boat!
I was always tired too! I changed the way I eat…no more sugar crashes for me! Try eating some extra protein! 🙂
Ugh! I’m right there with you. I’m nursing our 4 month old, so there’s literally someone sucking all the energy out of me. And our almost 3 year old being a crazy man. It’s never-ending.
You are right. It is the toughest job and moms need to give themselves and each other a break… We all work hard and being supportive helps each mom continue this precious job. Love your post..
I go through phases where I’m extremely tired too..with a 5 and 3 year old I agree with you about the worry and loving them with everything inside of me is my goal…
I’m not a mom, but I’m tired all the time too! I think I’m just too busy. lol
My husband is out of town this week so I’ve been saying this all week. I’m soooo tired!! It’s extra hard when no one is around to help.
You are so correct! I am always in awe of single moms and how they do it all on their own.